Critical Reflection on Learning in the Course

As we arrive at the conclusion of the 15-week communications course, I reflect back on the goals I set out to achieve in the beginning, which is to conquer my fear of public speaking, and to improve my command over the use of English language.

Although I feel that power posing may have boosted my self-confidence slightly before presentations, I believe for the most part that it was the mentality going into a presentation that really gave me the needed determination to do well in the presentation itself: I have a message to share with the audience, and whether or not I like it, time will keep ticking on.

Throughout the course, I have watched live demonstrations by my classmates, as well as videos of professional speakers impart their ideas and they have made me more critical on the way I speak, the words I use, and the gestures I make. It has been a lot to take in all at once, but one of the major improvements I noticed was me being able to better pace myself when speaking as compared to before where I just blurted out lines in an incomprehensible manner. Having kept a steady pace also bestowed me with more time to formulate my next sentences and articulate clearly which in turn helped maintain my sanity and composure.

With that, I am glad to have been given the opportunity to practice communication in the form of formal presentations. The experience is truly invaluable as it has made me more aware of my flaws in public speaking and at the same time providing insight on methods of improving upon said flaws. Sadly, the course has come to an end, but the lessons learnt will stay on to serve as a stepping stone towards becoming a better communicator overall.

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Since I was young I have always had a strong fascination and curiosity in understanding how things worked. Over time, this curiosity led me to become increasingly critical towards certain topics such as religion and superstition.

In my polytechnic days, I had a classmate who, like myself, was a bit unorthodox, but in an entirely opposite fashion as he was extremely religious. We got along really well initially, as there were some common topics and past experiences to share. Conversations with him was always a delight – at least until when the topic of religion finally came up.

He had invited me to join him on a visit to church on a Sunday. I was hesitant to agree as I was highly introverted at the time and was not interested in meeting strangers, especially since it was for the cause of a higher power. It took me a while to say: “No.” and to my surprise, he appeared to be unfazed by my response. However, everything changed after this incident. He began telling me stories about his personal encounters with the lord and saviour.

At first, I took an accommodating stance and listened to what he had to say, hoping he would change the subject. Instead, he droned on and on. I was at the peak of my frustration and I challenged him on his beliefs. He of course was appalled at my sudden rebuttal and began reciting quotes from his bible. It was a tense situation as we argued on and on about our disagreements with each other’s views.

In the end, it was he who decided to give up on the argument and take on the avoidance stance. I followed suit. From that moment on, we hardly ever talked to each other as our relationship grew further and further apart.

To conclude, I feel that as humans we should always live by the quote “live and let live”. It is at many times, pointless to impose certain ideologies upon others, if it is not absolutely necessary. A confrontation may only end well if all parties are agreeable on one single goal: To better themselves.

Question: How would you personally interact with people who are overly sensitive and pushy at the same time?

[Update]
Read and commented:
Syarief
Rui Shuang
Cheng Wei

Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behaviour

I have always found it intriguing to observe people during conversations as a group of friends usually consist of a perfect blend of DISC personalities.

When a group of friends first sit around the table at dinner, it is usually the I personality who will initiate and carry the conversation through his animated gestures, sincere eye contact, and an upbeat tone.

An interesting effect then takes hold of the group. It is as if someone had just lit a match on one side of the table, and now the fire is quickly spreading to the others, from the person closest to the speaker, to the one furthest away. Proximity is actually an important determinant of interest, since it affects verbal, para-verbal, and non-verbal factors in communication.

The different personalities will then come into play to perpetuate the conversation in nonverbal ways, each at different points of the conversation. The D personality will almost certainly cut to the chase with the topic at hand, sitting upright and looking exclusively and directly at the speaker. D people will also tend to hurry the initiator with rapid hand gestures to keep the pace of the conversation. S people are often go with the flow and prefer a non-hurried conversation. They display their stance by sitting back in a relaxed manner, glancing at the each of the participants for their reaction and subtly nodding in agreement. The C people are the wildcards, they may or may not agree with what is being said but tend to keep it within themselves until the conversation has ended before approaching the speaker. During the conversation, they will seem distracted, looking at their food, but in reality are deeply engrossed in processing and scrutinizing the information that they have received. This can be observed from a blank expression and eyes that glance upwards occasionally.

The principle or group dynamics could be the primary reason to their cohesion, like a set of well-oiled cogs, each strength is appreciated and every weakness covered.

[Update]
Read and commented:
Cheng Wei
Wan Ling
Wei Kai

Strengths and Challenges in Communicating

From what I understand, communication is not only the process of expressing oneself to another, but also the interpretation of the message which the other person is trying to convey. If that is the case, I believe I am not a very good communicator.

Perhaps my greatest strength in communicating is listening to and analyzing what others have to say. This is especially important to me since misinterpreting messages have a tendency to lead towards a lot of awkwardness and frustration for both parties. However, this comes with a downside as I am only able to focus my attention upon a handful of people at a time. As a result, communicating with a large group of people seems like a chore that tires me out quickly.

Normally when it comes to friendly conversations or even work-related discussions with people I am familiar with, I adopt a very casual tone as I prefer to engage in a laid-back and carefree exchange. I do not believe in taking myself too seriously as it paints a personality similar to that of a beehive.

Personally, I find presentations being the most difficult task in communication as stage fright often take over despite my best efforts in preparation. Being enthusiastic towards the subject does help, but not by much especially when it comes to go time. At times I may lose my train of thought midspeech and everything crumbles down like a bad game of UNO Stacko.

To combat this problem, my only solution is to memorize each spoken line word for word to make up for my lack of ability to improvise. Therefore, I have always deemed presentations to be very artificial and manufactured as it is literally a one-sided conversation.

At the completion of this course, I hope to overcome my fear of public speaking as well as improve my overall command over the English language in different conversation settings.

[Update]
Read and commented:
Cheng Wei
Rui Shuang
Leon